Saturday, October 31, 2009


HaPpy HalLOwEen!

trick or treat.

have a spOoky night.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

tag, you're it.

Well my friends, I've been tagged. Jules, bless her heart is responsible for the outcome of this post. I feel honored you picked me! I hope I can live up to your expectations of being a 'kreativ blogger'. (p.s. Julie, I love you and miss you more). I was flattered to receive the award, so thank you!

So, the rule of the award is to list '7 unknown things about myself, and then tag 7 others' to continue on with this creative chain of blogs. I'll do just that.
Here I go...

As a person, I am very sensitive. I hide it well, because I consider my sensitivity a 'weakness'. What people say to me or about me has a huge effect on my self confidence. Whether their comment be big or small... positive or negative... a compliment or criticism.... said to my face or behind my back.... I instantly analyze the connotation of what was said and evaluate myself accordingly. At times it is unhealthy- yet I learn so much about who I truly am. I have come to the conclusion that I am simply sensitive because I care so much about what people think of me or who people perceive me to be. My sensitivity triggers my bad habit of being a jealous little one.

Three temporal things I couldn't live without? 1. Jewelry. I wear it every day. I love it. Some of my pieces hold value, some don't. Some represent a memory, a promise, a loved one, or an event; while others are just fun trinkets. The way one accessorizes says a lot about a person. At least I think so. 2. I love food. Enough said. I am always eating, always craving goodies, and will never be able to lose weight because of my addiction. 3. Books. Books of all sorts. I love reading, learning, exploring imagination, and the feeling of being 'smart'.

Daily, I debate if falling in love easily is a weakness or a strength. A weakness because once you fall in love, your heart is vulnerable. A strength because your heart is big, easy to accept and open to love. Regardless, I am one of those hopeless romantics. I love love. I fall in love fast, get attached easily and dream passionately. I could watch a chick flick daily, read Pride and Prejudice over and over again, day dream of my wedding for hours, and cuddle and kiss my lover in Malaysia... and never grow tired of having the butterflies dance around in my stomach.

My heart belongs in Utah. With my family, of course. Having been born and raised in Salt Lake, I built the foundation of who I am; My morals, attributes, beliefs, mannerisms and traits are all rooted to the childhood I lived there. However, the experiences and trials that I have encountered while living away from home, have been the ones that have shaped and defined me as the person I am today. I'm lucky to have two backgrounds; each have had a monumental impact on my life.

I make the exact same wish every time the clock strikes 11:11. Read my horoscope every morning- without fail. I am superstitious. I lift my legs over every railroad crossing. Hold my breath through tunnels and past grave yards. I solute karma, because what goes around comes around. And lastly, I believe in fate... in the degree that God has a hand in all things.

No matter how close I am with a someone- no one knows the whole me. Why? Good question. I am a completely different person around my family. Completely different. I know that everyone says that they are different around their family- but I truly am. I am goofy, silly, crazy and confident. A person only my family has met. My mom often asks, "Are you like this with your friends?" And I always say no. In fact if my friends saw this side of me, they probably would go into shock.

My three biggest fears in life? 1. Throwing up. I can't do. I wont do. I hate it. You are lying when you say you feel better after throwing up. It haunts me, and always will. 2. Not ending up with my lover in Malaysia. I am in love- I have fallen hard for him. My heart is fragile and dependent on him; To have an ending other than "forever" would just shatter it. 3. Losing a loved one while living away from home. I wonder if I would be strong enough to cope with such a tragedy. I know I would beat myself up over the fact that I hadn't been with them during there last few days/months on earth.

Well, there you have it. I've been tagged and now "you're it!"

note to self.

"Life is good." I'm dumbfounded by the daily happiness I experience. Not until this point in life, have I been completely satisfied with every aspect of my life. Truly. Who knows why or how this sudden change, or rather blessing, happened upon my life... But, I hope it is here to stay.

Who knows- it could be the conquering of the deadly homesickness plague. In fact, I am scared to admit that Modesto is starting to feel like home. That's a given though, considering my memories, friends, adventures and stories from the last three years, have all happened right here. I guess it just the inner part of me who isn't quite ready to call Modesto my home. Maybe it's because my relationship with my lover in Malaysia is literally perfect. Fighting, jealousy, immaturity, and stubbornness are things of our pass. Today, we are in love. Completely happy knowing that our future awaits us with passionate dreams. Our relationship is currently based off of love letters, the sharing of our testimonies, and the anticipation for the 'weekly email'. Love is in the air. Oh, and I love that he always tells me, "as long as you are happy- I am too." Maybe that alone is what brought this happiness upon me. It could also be because of the change of outlook I have on ballet. Due to my soon to be decision in life, I have realized that some dreams of mine might come to a end. However, other dreams are about to unfold. Knowing that I might only have months left to dance- I am left feeling nothing but complete joy. I have realized that I have lived my dream of dancing. I am in reality- and my reality feels as though it is a dream. Funny how that works. I have also realized I must "dance like no one is watching", putting my soul into it- because the sensation of happiness I experience every day while dancing may soon be only a memory rather than a part of my daily routine. I have spent my entire life perfecting the art and the thought of giving it up is scary and saddening. However, I am content because I know that my sacrifice will be wroth it in the long run. My life may be good because of the future that awaits me. As I have never felt so unsure about anything in my life- I know that only good things will come about if I keep my head up high and believe in myself. Decisions are tuff- but they are a part of life. I am learning that I must do what I want to do. The product of happiness will only come if I do what is best for me. My family is closer than ever right now. It's unfortunate that I live here and they live there- I wish I was home to be a part of the memories. However, being away has made me realize just how much I take for granted when it comes to my family. They make me happy every day of my life- And knowing that our bond will last forever is reassuring. There again, I am overtaken by life's happy promises.

On a lighter note.... this happiness may have gotten the better of me through blessing me with the little things in life. Right now, I live in my "boyfriend" jeans, laugh often, visit Barnes and Noble daily, drink diet coke, connect with friends who are scattered around the world, paint my nails, crave pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and read like crazy. It's almost as though I am selfish in treating myself to such joy. I am happy. And as my lover in Malaysia reminds me often, that is all that matters. This post is awfully lengthy- but I had a lot on my mind; and so much to be thankful for. This was a well needed post. Simply a note to myself- documenting this, in hopes that I will be reminded of how lucky I am to be me. Being sincerely happy is one of my greatest accomplishments in life so far.

Monday, October 26, 2009

key point


i love to play.
i love to learn.
i love to listen.
i love to create.
i love to perform.
i love to accomplish.
i love to practice.

The piano is obviously on my list of "my favorite things". How could it not be? Playing the piano is a staple of freedom, creation, perfection and joy in my life. I have grown to admire classical music (another one of my favorite things) through my love of playing the piano. I fell so close to myself when I sit down to play. Just me and the piano. A feeling I can't describe. Performing is a thrill, simply because it is the one thing that makes me the most nervous in life. I can't forget to mention my love for Chopin and Bach. Or my love for my mother who inspired me to play. Music always touches my soul. My inspiration as to why I chose to add "piano" to the list? Well, today I sat down at the piano and began playing. I was instantly overwhelmed by a feeling of gratification for the talent I have graciously been given to be able to learn, love and play. A talent I will hold close to my heart.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


Hey you! Happy Birthday! Just last night I asked Him to give you a hug and a kiss today. I hope you received my little gift of love. I miss you, adore you and most of all love you. Have a happy birthday today. Live it up! You are only 21 once! And how jealous I am that you are celebrating it with the most amazing spirits- wish I could be there to dance upon the clouds with you. I miss your laugh, our memories, your curly eyelashes, our hugs, your advice and your gorgeous smile. However, I know that you are always with me... deep inside my heart. Thanks for the help and encouragement these last couple of months. I owe you big time! I still can say, you know me better than anyone. Our friendship is eternal. Your example of righteousness is infinite. I look up to you daily. I miss you more than these words can simply begin to express. Today is a happy day- you're 21! I can't believe it has been so long since we last saw each other. Just think of our next reunion; that'll simply be one of the best days of my life. I LOVE YOU.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

{your} impact

because of you...
i love dancing, simply because you are my inspiration. i long to be skinny, tiny and prefect- just as you are. because of you, i have hope. I can handle self criticism, understand my imperfections and maintain my work ethic due to your example.

because of you....
i communicate daily in prayer. i humble myself to find strength. because of you, i try to always walk in paths of righteousness. I am eager to study and learn because i'm curious to discover your mysteries. my life's motives and goals are modeled after the example of your son. because of you, i am able to experience complete joy after wrestling with trials that you knowingly give me.

because of you....
i sleep with penguins. i cry tears of both joy and sadness. because of you, i have fallen in love. i love tuesdays, long distance mail, soccer games, steak, kissing and holding hands. i'm happy, hopeful and nervous because of our current situation of separation. because of you, i smile when i think of the future, look at our pictures or ponder about our memories and daydream about our soon-to-be memories.

because of you....
i am silly, love adventures, and car rides. because of you, i feel safety in knowing i have a best friend for life. i tell you my secrets, my thoughts, and share my laughter quite often with you. because of you, i am spoiled.

because of you (girls)....
i had the best summer of my life. because of each of you, i value friendship, inside jokes, pictures, stories and girl time spent in front of the mirror. i learned that you are my true friends, because i can be my complete self around you. because of you girls, i will be able to rely on friendships that will last forever. i know i can turn to you for a good laugh or a shoulder to cry on.

because of you....
i love to read. i set high expectations for myself. i love the gospel because i've grown up observing your example and testimony. because of you- i love diet coke, clusters of collectables, and i love being at home. i am grateful for our relationship, because you are my life.

because of you....
i am a dreamer, a lover and a go-getter. because of you the simple lessons of life are engraved on the back of my hand simply from watching you by way of example day in an day out. i am who i am today, because of you. i am strong, stable and secure.

because of you...
i love hummingbirds, wedding rings, perfume, and multi-colored yarn. because of you, i look forward to the life hereafter. i am gentle, elegant (most of the time, at least), and lonely-simply because i miss you. because of you, i love curlers, red lipstick tubes in there cases, pink candies, and the card game 'war'. because of your impact on my life, our memories are very vividly accessible in my mind.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

inbox of happiness

Today is a hApPy day. Late last night I received the cutest email from lover in Malaysia. When reading it, I was overwhelmed by the butterflies dancing around in my stomach. I might just have to print this one out and frame it. It was that good. He is such a sweetheart. I am a happy girl, because of him. What a lucky girl I am, to call him mine. But knowing he is happy, is what makes me the happiest. I am in love. And love, my friends, is a happy thing.

tOdaY's hApPy mOmeNtS...

I played with the most adorable puppy while nannying today. They just got her; her name being skit-zit. We also decorated two jack-o-lantern cakes. What a blast. I love kids. I love cake. And puppies too. All happy things.

I gave into temptation.... and bought a Diet Coke today. I have tried giving it up. But it is nearly impossible. It simply makes me happy. It's sad to say it, but my days are always better if I enjoy a diet coke.

So... I bought the first Christmas present of the season. I can't believe it. I have never bought a Christmas present in October. I'm on top of it, I guess. It was a must have though. Midge is going to die (not literally) when she opens it. I can't wait. I love giving. It makes me happy. I also purchased a few Christmas gifts for my lover in Malaysia. I have to send his Christmas package off within the next week in order for it to arrive on time. Crazy right?

A special thanks to the worker at Costco who complimented me today. She made me smile. A happy smile. It quite possibly was the happiest minute of my day today. It made me stop and realize that there are beautiful people in this world- inside and out.

a text from b last night made me smile today when waking up. She made me remember the worth of "good" friends. I'm lucky to know our friendship will last forever. I have thought about her all day- hoping her life is a little less stressful and less overwhelming. (b, you are in my prayers. thanks for being an adorable friend. You contributed to my happiness of the day.)

Lastly, the morning started of with a fun photo shoot for the dance bag. Lots of laughs, giggles and jokes were shared. ballerina's simply rule the world. I am a happy ballerina. At least for now.

I hope you all recognized your happy moments today. Life's too short not to.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

chocolaty goodness


I simply love hazelnut and chocolate.
Nutella therefore, is a perfect creation.

try it on wheat toast
dip pretzels
wonderful on waffles and pancakes
fruit. of course
delicious on a whole wheat tortilla with peanut butter
spread on graham crackers

The possibilities are endless,
These are just a few of my favorites.

Monday, October 19, 2009

shocking surprise!

What a lovely weekend.
My sweet mother came in town for a visit.
A surprise visit, matter of fact.
A shocking surprise.

I walked across stage to find her hiding.
I screamed out of complete shock. Than cried (a little) out of pure joy.
We embraced naturally, because I belong to her.
Thank goodness I'm hers and she's mine.

I'm a lucky girl.
It was wonderful to spend time with her. too wonderful.
We stayed busy. took on adventures in San Francisco. and talked the nights away.
Oh! We also made my seasonal favorite- pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. yum.
I love her.
Thank you for the perfect surprise.
I was in desperate need of some "mom time".

Every minute of my weekend was a busy one.
The performances went well.
It was a real treat to have Midge in the audience.
lovely merde gifts; flowers, pearls and a beautiful orchid.
thanks to Midge and the best friend.

Due to the business... I skipped a few days of blogging.
I missed it.
I'm back now.
I'll play "catch up" tomorrow. Good night.

p.s. Mom- I'm sleeping under the sheets tonight.

Friday, October 16, 2009

love on stage.

We are performing the epitome of a love story this weekend.
Romeo and Juliet.

lovely ballerinas, lovely talent and simply a lovely story.
'history', in fact.

I am reminded of the essence of love whenever I perform, read or watch
Romeo and Juliet.
How lucky I am to have the ability to fully love others.
and how humbled I am to be loved in return.

Love is a splendid thing.
it is all around.

I can only thank Shakespeare himself.
Juliet is an innocent inspiration.
Romeo is a passionate lover.

I am in love. In love with ballet. life. and of course "my Romeo".

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

it's raining, it's pouring.

r a i n

It's a given that rain is one of my favorite things. Rain is refreshing, brilliant, and lovely. Yesterday, it literally rained from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. Non stop. A dark and gloomy day, but certainly a gorgeous one. The winds were howling. The air was wet and cold. The streets were flooded. And umbrellas and rain boots received their debut.

Yesterday's rainy day is what inspired this post, that I will continue to add to as my life lives on. Subject.... "My Favorite Things". Not a shocker, that rain is on the list- let alone the first thing. I love rainy days, running through puddles, wearing rain boots, and cuddling up inside. Whether it be a down pour or a light summer rain, I love it all.

However, I have two very specific reasons for falling in love with the rain. The first being, that the earth receives her shower. The world is extra gorgeous the day after a rain storm. It looks hydrated, greener, smells fresh and literally glows. I'm always stunned by the beauty of the earth after it's cleansed by a storm. Pure beauty.

My second reason being that my brain is flooded with memories on rainy days. Why? Simply because I have had glorious moments during rainy days. Let's be honest, we all know it's every girl's fantasy to fulfill her dream of kissing in the rain. How lucky I am to say I have fulfilled the aspiration. More than once, actually. One of my favorite memories to this day is the time that I kissed my-lover-in-Malaysia in a down pour. High school days, outside my house, leaning on his car. We were soaking wet. Not wanting to ever say goodbye that night in fear that that moment of sheer perfection and love would end.... reality hit when I went inside and found myself peeling off my wet jeans and wringing out my soaking wet hair. A night that will always be remembered. Better yet, it's a night he has chosen to keep in his memory box as well.

Who knows, maybe I love the rain because I love him. It's comforting to know when on rainy days we both think of each other. Miles away, the one thing we still have in common is our memories; And our rainy ones seem to be the best.

I love you RAIN. And I love you, lover-in-Malaysia.

Monday, October 12, 2009

{personal} post

This post is simply for me. For my benefit and satisfaction. I just needed to "write it down" so I could say it was documented. Things are always more powerful when reiterated on "paper".

I am going.
Be strong.
The battle is just beginning.
Change is on its way.
Stick to the decision.
Tomorrow is a new day; a new way of viewing things.
Be happy.
'Now' is the time.
Get to work.

Wow. That felt good. What a relief. Mission accomplished.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

no matter how small

Not too long ago, my wise teacher said, "A show is a show, no matter how small". Meaning if there is only one person in the audience... it is a performance. The same performance if there were 1,200 people in the audience. Not only that, but the quality of your performance shouldn't change. Just because there is only one person watching, doesn't mean you can water down the show. Give it your all, %100 of the time. How true.

Her words have been dancing around in my head these last few weeks, as I have come to the realization that that basic concept simply applies to the aspect of living life. We are always putting on a show. Whether it be the way you say hello; a hand wave? or the tone of voice. The outfit you choose to wear. The speed you choose to walk. The people you choose to surround yourself with. The attitude you portray. Your weight. Your make-up. Your hairdo. Your mannerisms. And the list goes on. Life is one big show. Simply because whether you are in a classroom, walking down a one way street, in a ballet studio, hanging out, dancing on a stage, ordering food, meeting someone new, sitting at work, using your phone, telling a secret.... people are watching your every move. there is always one, if not many watching your life show.

My brain is crazy, I know. But, my life has drastically changed ever since I have viewed my life as a "show". I am cautious of my every move. I am slow to judge, and quick to observe the "performances" of other's. I am learning more than ever right now; about myself. But, also about those around me. I can honestly say I have been oblivious to so many details in the lives of those around me. I have also realized how often I examine someone's action and then given time, I mimic their way of doing something. How strange. We all learn from each other. We also all feed off of each other. Our lives truly are performances, whether we are watching ourselves in the mirror, or whether those around you are in attendance to your one man show.

Attend the "performance" of someone else's life; observe and learn. Or be mindful of the "performance" you cautiously choose to showcase on a regular basis. I promise your life will be changed for the better. Mine has. There is no ticket price, 'will call', opening nights or balcony seats. In fact, tickets are free, front row seats only, and your choice of show is unlimited. Be mindful of those you choose to watch. When doing so, don't judge. Only grow. And always remember, "A show is a show, no matter how small."

picture found here

Friday, October 9, 2009

Bucket List

read along if you please.
I would love to hear some of your 'bucket list' ideas. please share.
this is my way of remembering all the mighty adventures
I must tackle, enjoy and accomplish before my days are over.
my rough draft, compass and and blue prints to life.

.... here i go ....
{wish me luck}

travel the world. literally.
live in New york. again.
lay in bed the entire day, with my future husband to be.
jump rope around the block
visit my 'friends' in Laval, and say thank you for opening my eyes to the world.
play 18 holes of golf
go rock climbing. the real deal
hike to see the sunrise.
pray at the wall in Jerusalem
dance on an empty stage.
run into someone famous on the street.
complete a double front flip off the low dive.
serve a mission. now or later. or both.
attend a ballet that ends with a real "encore".
create a family. meaning, have children.
honeymoon in Italy.
pull a prank. a good one.
read a book a month. at least.
backpacking trip- here I come.
plant a garden. of my own.
wear a pair of high heels from the minute I wake up, the the moment I fall asleep.
host a party. a big event.
speak another language. fluently.
learn to enjoy running.
graduate college
discover a new talent.
get married. of course.
step foot on a wakeboard.
convert those closest to me.
explore photography. if not become a photographer.
a concert pianist? just maybe.
perform a card trick
visit Norway. a dream destination of mine.
do five pirouettes on pointe.
chop my hair off. a drastic change.
see the Mona Lisa. at the Louvre.
write a letter to everyone whom I adore. and love.
purchase a real designer purse.
live in Europe.
head to Australia. vacation.
pull off my dream wedding. it will done, as long as I marry the man of my dreams.
work closely (maybe a profession) with those suffering from down syndrome.
reconnect with old friends. a reunion.
fly in a private jet.
see the great wall of china with my own two eyes.
Get rid of every ounce of pride and guilt that's locked up inside of me.
be an extra in a movie. one with a line or two.
kiss on the Eiffel Tower. a proposal would be nice, too.
slow dance in the middle of a crowded street.
visit an orphanage.
paint a picture. one worth framing.
own a house with a white picket fence.
attend a high school reunion. Go East High! class of 07'.
free fall from a bridge.
Tell my future husband to be that I love him every single day.
conquer a major fear of mine.
Live at home. again. for awhile this time.
taste gelato in Europe.
discover a 'hole in the wall' restaurant . eat there often.
finish my scrapbook.
sew a quilt by hand.
eat something totally bizarre.
donate money to a charity.
attend a yankees and red sox game. (red sox fan, just fyi)
deliver a motivational speech.
buy a puppy.
visit the shores of Antarctica just to be amongst penguins.
ride an elephant.
go scuba diving.
raise my kids up in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
having possession of my grandmother's wedding ring. love it.
kiss under a waterfall.
keep my eyes open the entire tour of a haunted house.
participate in humanitarian work in a third world country.
accomplish a dream. no matter how silly or small.
take an anatomy class. I'm fascinated with the human body.
for old times sake, get together with the girls for one last "freeze out"
be an owner of my dream car. the cabriolet. Volkswagen.
meet Mikhail Baryshnikov.
attend the Olympics. when hosted in another country.
dye my hair brown. just to try it.
come out on top of a major trail or tribulation.
drive to the end of a rainbow.
worthily go through the temple.
frequently write a pen pal.
learn and perform Chopin's "Fantasie" Impromptu, Op. 66. be continued.....

picture found here


this is a shout out to Crew!
you seem to amaze me day after day
it's as though you were the chosen child in the family
to receive all the talent. you lucky boy.
you are a brilliant athlete- with the world under your feet.
as dad would say, "go get em' tiger".
plus you even made the front page of the newspaper!
congrats on your success.
i love you. dearly. it is an honor to be your sister.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

one of those days.

today. today. today.

I'm quite glad it's over. honestly.
tears. real alligator tears.
a breakdown. a mess. a realization.
I hadn't had a "bad day" in quite sometime; I was well over due for one.
it hit hard.
today, a wise teacher said, "we have wasted time. time we can never get back."
that hit hard.
I sat and thought of how piercing that sounded. the truth hurts.
a minute passed, is a minute gone. how did you spend that minute? or hour? or year?
we all have bad days. many of them in a lifetime.
they are necessary in helping us recognize our happy days.
suddenly my bad day turned into guilt. I felt guilty for "wasting" minutes on being upset.
on the contrary, it felt rejuvenating to cry at the end of the day.
a cry, a meltdown and a plea.
it was my turn to breakdown. and I took advantage of it.
the day has finally come to a close.
as I lay awake I wonder, why is it that when you are having a bad day, every single thing seems to go wrong? how peculiar.
I'm hopeful... hoping tomorrow will bring sunshine and smiles. happy minutes.
when it comes down to it, minutes are spent in numerous ways.
today my minutes were long, silent, angry, hurt, lonely, annoyed and stressful.
I'm okay with that. only this once.
new minutes tomorrow. what a glorious gift.

picture found here.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

{little} love letters

dear lover in Malaysia,
the distance is starting to become real. lately, you feel so far away. come home; only don't really. {437}. i am so proud of you. you inspire me. i love you. more than anyone. my heart belongs to you. i think about you daily; because unfortunately i can't see you. however, i sure dream of the day i'll see you next.... lots of kisses and hugs. tears too, I suppose. happy ones, though. good luck. remember i'm here for you. "i'll love you always and forever." MLF.
p.s.... my favorite day of the week is tuesday.

dear books upon bookshelves,
you're my favorite thing in the world right now. word after word. you withhold stories, laughter, fantasies, information, emotions of all sorts, mysteries, legends and so much more. the smell you produce when holding you up to my nose as i thumb through the pages.... is breathtaking. how am i ever going to read all of you? life's too short.

dear best friend,
i'm glad to have you back in my life. back as in healthy. life, rather these past three days, is incredibly lonely when you aren't around. i love our friendship. it will last through the eternities. we always disagree on nearly everything, but that doesn't matter. chats over diet cokes and adventures to the city are my favorite things to do with you. besides sharing the stage with you, of course. there is nothing like a best friend; and i'm the luckiest girl alive to have you fill that position in my life.
p.s.... thank you for everything.

dear skippy,
you have produced the staple in my life... peanut butter. it solves all of my problems but one. that one, being the ability to lose a few pounds. i'm working on that, though. it's safe to save i am in love, or merely obsessed with your product. creamy, please.

dear wedding magazines,
a simple thank you is well overdue: thank you for fueling my obsession. thank you for making my lonely days worthwhile. thank you for making my dreams seem possible. thank you for letting my creativity and ideas run wild. thank you for capturing the best moment of a lover's life. well done. i'm your number one fan.

dear the unknown (literally),
you are my biggest fear and threat right now. please make yourself known. you complicate the process of decision making. wouldn't it just be best, if you told me what i'm meant to do in life, or who i'm suppose to become? i think so. without your element, big decisions are hard enough as it is. i know you are a part of life, so i guess i will learn to love you. one day, i know i'll end up thanking you for forcing me to make my own decisions. you will be responsible for the shape of my character; meaning you'll make me the person i am. but for now, you are aggravating.

dear zits,
go away. i am an adult now, leave me alone. go bother a teenager's face. you are beyond annoying and ugly. that's all i have to say. sorry it is so negative.

dear future house to be,
please be small and homey. cover your brick in ivoy. a red door would be nice. be welcoming; because trust me, you will have lots of guests. your walls will be decorated with pictures explaining the lives of those you comfort and protect. as well as paintings that are handed down to me. windows galore. both inside and out, you'll have character. lots of it. you're one requirement? you will bring up my children providing a place they call home. and one they will come back to year after year. home sweet home.

dear mom and dad,
last but not least... i love you. endlessly. no words are great enough to express my love or gratitude. i am happy. you have done the finest job in raising me and encouraging me to follow my dreams. you will always be a part of my life. forever. xoxo.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Latter-day Saint

Conference was fabulous (for lack of a better word) this October. How lucky we are to have such prominent leaders and teachers in our lives. I am a changed person after witnessing the divine power of these magnificent followers of God. How motivational and inspiring it is to know that we are capable of becoming perfect through the Atonement. As shared, "perfection isn't impossible". We were taught this weekend the power of our modern day prophet, and his influence in our lives. We must be listeners, and further more take heed to his teachings. His words were brilliant. And already, I have stopped to ponder his advice in serving others. The question of the day... "What did you do for someone today?" I am anxious to have that as my principle guideline in life from this day forward. I find that service, helping others, or doing an act of kindness never fails to produce the most joy for me, personally. There is always an opportunity to help someone. Look for that opportunity and don't let it pass you by. How blessed I am to have a firm testimony in the gospel of Jesus Christ. My life is better because of it. I was touched by a few specific talks today. One being that of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. How sincere his message, or rather witness, of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. It brought tears to my eyes, as I realized how fortunate I am to say I believe in every word of his testimony and furthermore every word of the Book the Mormon. I say with great confidence and gratitude that I am a daughter of God. I am reminded of His perfection, love, mercy and commandments. After watching a weekend full of instruction, council and testimony I am determined to live life to the fullest and stand up for truth. It is not like me to share my thoughts about my beliefs, let alone "post" them; However, I do it in the up most reverence and hope that if you haven't already found the truth in your life... let my words be a catalyst in helping your quest for truth in your own life. I loved this weekend and gained so much insight. Thank you! Make sure you visit if you missed out.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Finally Fall

What is it about the changing of summer to fall that is so breathtaking? Fall is when the earth takes on the transformation of a fresh, earthy and deep beauty. Warm colors; brick red, mustard yellow, pumpkin orange and chocolate brown. The crisp air is sometimes shocking. However, it serves as an instant reminder that the weather is changing, summer is revolving into fall and lastly it reminds us of holidays so gratefully celebrated. Fall is beauty. I find that my long sleeves and sweatshirts dominate my closet. Scarfs come out of their hiding spot and wrap around my neck almost daily. Long pants and closed toe shoes, please. How silly it is that I live in the same world day in and day out, year after year, season after season... yet this time of year I find myself constantly gratifying in earth's magnificent beauty and ability to portray such rich colors and images. Childhood memories of fall: driving up the canyon to observe the changing of leaves, a visit (or two) to the pumpkin patch, hot chocolate and the yummy smell of soups, cookies and spices that sneak out of the kitchen. Fall is beauty. Speaking of baking; Try Mom's pumpkin cookies, beef stew or homemade chili- each one being a fall favorite of mine. Let's not forget the festivities. From Halloween to Thanksgiving, what's not to love? A time to dress up while inhaling sweets, and then stuffing your face with a feast after giving thanks to Him above. Doesn't it seem as though fall is the start of a new year? It's when school, ballet, piano, sports,etc all resume. Things seem busy and active. Fall moves at a fast pace. However, if you observe your lifestyle, I bet you find that you are starting to spend more time at home. Inside. Your body is gratefully accepting a rest from the wild thrill of summer. Fall is a time to be with family, friends and favorites. Fall is beauty. I believe fall brings hope, warm tidings, and change. My life seems vulnerable to to change during these autumn months. A time to make decisions, prioritize, devote myself to 'projects' and aspire new outcomes or goals. Isn't it remarkable that a change in season can effect or have an impact on ones lifestyle? I have succumb to fall; It has my decisions in a whirlwind, captured my undivided attention with it's rich colors, and has demanded that I stay busy, active and healthy. Fall is glorious. Fall is fresh. Fall is rejuvenating. Fall is gratifying. Fall is fun. Fall is beauty. Thank goodness it's finally fall.