Thursday, November 26, 2009

gobble. gobble. gobble.

Thanksgiving... Truly a time to thank and and a time to give. It is so lovely being home with those I love most. I simply just adore Thanksgiving. I love the food, the weather, the feelings shared, the traditions, the memories and the laziness of the holiday. Today, I am grateful for more than I could begin to list or express. I feel as though I am a lucky girl because my life is nearly perfect and I am so thankful for every little detail of every single day. My list begins with these things, but certainly doesn't end there. I'm thankful for...

My family of seven. Each one of them means to world to me. I am so thankful for the individuality each member provides to create the unique family we have. Our bond is everlasting.

My passion for life, learning and loving. I look forward to living each and every day because my life is simply lovely. I seek after knowledge because learning is a catalyst for change. Loving comes easy, because I love falling in love with life's gems.

My Savior. His encompassing sacrifice and victory is the reason I live, breathe and hope.

My lover in Malaysia. I'm beyond grateful to have discovered what falling in love feels like. I'm so thankful for his example, love letters and sense of humor. But most of all, I'm thankful that he loves me in return.

My moments of laughter. Usually shared with my friends. I'm blessed to have such wonderful friends who all mean the world to me.

My passion for ballet, movement, performing and silent expression. I love coming alive on stage, practicing and perfecting in the studio and the sensation of accomplishing goals.

I'm thankful for life. I really just love it.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


anxious: experiencing worry, unease or nervousness, typically about an event or something with an uncertain outcome.
(Oxford American Dictionaries)

I am...

anxious about life.
so much to do in so little time.

anxiously happy to go home this weekend.
counting down the seconds, actually.

anxious for opening night.
so nervous. unprepared too.

simply anxious for New Moon.
yes, I am obsessed.

anxious for the future.
one word... decisions.

anxiously in love.
now, that's a fact.

anxiously driving my car around.
why? my registration is expired. yikes.

anxiously 'hungry' for Thanksgiving.
traditions, family, yummy food and gratitude.

anxiously awaiting my happy ending.
not forgetting to mention- my prince charming.

i am simply anxious.
life has been crazy lately. crazy, in the sense that i don't know quite what to expect anymore.
i am left feeling nothing but anxious.
it's a happy feeling....
just one that comes with butterflies in your stomach.

Monday, November 16, 2009

busy in deed and thought.

what a week. can you say crazy? (actually more like weekend, considering i was still in bed earlier in the week.) so much went on; dressing up in costume at the state theater, rehearsal upon rehearsal, karaoke birthday party, photo shoot, extra hours of church, teaching at the Everet Elementary School, dentist appointment (stitches are out. yay!), 'loads' of laundry, and the list goes on.
however, this week was by far one of the most emotionally crazy weeks of my life. right at this very moment i feel as though i am standing in front of several paths which all seem to lead to a happy ending. so which one do i choose? (you tell me. please.)
being in pain and homesick this week made my phone calls home awfully lengthy; everything was carefully discussed, yet i am not one single step closer to making a decision of what life adventure to tackle next. i am beginning to think that the 'unknown' might just be the death of me.
my lover in Malaysia made me the happiest person in the world early Thursday morning. his email was endearing, promising, and literally perfect. i couldn't have asked for a better one. however, his words changed my plans in a sense. where now i am confused about when and what, yet never been so certain of who and why.
i have realized that timing is everything.
and right now... only time will tell what path of life i will choose to walk down.

(this post probably doesn't make any sense to anyone but me. i just needed to document it-simply because this week was life changing in a sense. I will write a 'better' one tonight. promise.)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

pain, pain go away. come again another day.

dear pain in my mouth....
you are killing me. you have made these last few days nearly unbearable. please go away soon. really soon. i want to be "me" again. however, as the saying goes... "no pain, no gain". i have realized that i have taken for granted a few things as you have made my life miserable lately. this is what it comes down to...

i lOve sTraWs. and i can't use one for who knows how long.
(i seriously am obsessed with straws. I have hundreds at home- because i put one in every drink. i miss them.)

i've now called hOme at every hour of the day. my dAd as been a real saint through this.
he has managed to help and comfort me when being miles away. incredible.

i've taken for granted how lovely it is to be hOme when you are sick. I have been craving
my own BeD. huGs from mOm. and the security and comfort of simply being home.

you have no idea how much i miss sMilIng and LauGhiNg.
i don't feel like myself without those two elements.

"rule: no carbonated drinks for ten days." what!?! I haven't had a
DiEt CoKe in forever. not fair.
oh well, it has been a good thing for me. now, i might stand a chance at being able to give it up now. we'll see.

because of my lack of strength and constant pain, i have had to sit back and watch rehearsal. SO HARD.
I just want to dAnCe.

i would love to be able to sLeep through the entire night. i have missed dreaming.
i didn't realize how vital sleep was- until now. i feel crumby due to exhaustion.

lastly, i simply miss feEliNg gOod. one thing is for certain- i won't be taking pain
medicine for a long time. i have had too much. my tummy hurts. and my jaw kills.

i know you mean well, Pain. but, it's time for you to go. life is moving too fast now days for me to be stuck in bed. you have over stayed your visit- but because of that i have realized the true value of "the little things" in life. this is day 4. 4 is my lucky number. Maybe you could say farewell today and let me sleep tonight. it's been real; in fact these last four days have been a little too intense. take care. (frankly, i wont be missing you.)
love, me.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

wisdom teeth.

yuck. I hope I never have to be put under again- weirdest feeling of my life. As my dad said to me...."Elease, that is the closest you will ever feel to being drunk." He is right- if that's what you feel like after drinking.... no thank you. I'm glad it's over. Laying in bed is a blessing in disguise; I haven't had a day off in what seems like forever. I just wish I could be at home in my own bed, with my mom and dad at my side. There is nothing worse than being sick away from home. I am coping though, thanks to my bestest friend, who is the world's greatest. Not so sure I will forgive him for filming me while being loopy... but as for everything else he treated me like a princess. He is a real gem. And who knows how I will ever pay him back for all that he does. Well, I figure I will be in bed all day tomorrow with nothing to do but blog. I can't wait. Hopefully I won't be in too much pain to think of something decent and worthwhile to say. As crazy as it seems.... I missed dancing today. I can't wait to get back into the normal routine.... and the thing I am really looking forward to- is eating. Pathetic, I know... but, I'm starving. My wisdom teeth are out- so my worries are gone, my dreams are in process and my fear of my teeth moving has vanished. I'll leave you with the fact that I have a love/hate relationship with the experience of the procedure. I'm certainly glad it's a once in a life time surgery.
p.s. why are they called wisdom teeth? just a thought....

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


red shoes

let's face it- I have an obsession with red shoes.
Well, shoes, period.

ballet flats: my favorite everyday shoe. i am in love. (these are lovely-i live in them)
high heels: i really only wear them on Sundays. But, there is nothing like
putting on a pair of heels. i feel feminine and classy.
"kicks": i rarely wear tennis shoes. but these are my favorite.
cowboy boots: of course i have red ones. brown ones too. (mine are similar)
flip flops: i live in these during the summer. or when my feet
are covered in blisters. they make the ride home from dance bearable.
toms: my most comfortable pair of shoes. buy a pair today. you'll love them.

but, red shoes are my simply one of my favorite things.
I'd be embarrassed to tell you how many pairs I own.
Let's just say, I collect them.
If I could spend infinite money on one thing... it would be shoes.
(and maybe a purse or two)

i. love. shoes.
red ones are my signature.